My First 'Date'

I love the anticipation of a first date!

It gives me an excuse to go buy an cute new outfit, get my nails manicured and my toes pedicured :-) I spend a couple hours getting ready...showering with yummy smelling shower gel, making sure my skin is soft with matching yummy smelling lotion, misting on a little bit of sparkly body powder from my atomizer, spritzing my body with more matching yummy smelling perfume, and artfully applying my make-up to make my eyes.

I love the way spending this extra time on myself makes me feel.

Sometimes though, I wonder if it's worth all the trouble!

Over the years I have had my share of first, and sometimes even second dates. Each one has been very, well let's just use the word 'interesting' for lack of something more colorful. I am going to share some of my more interesting dates on this blog, starting with some oldies but I sure wouldn't call them goodies!

The Tale of the Tree Man
Ahhhh, the tree man! The tree man was one of the very first men I met on the internet about 9 years ago. I chatted online with him one night for about 4 hours. He seemed like a very nice guy. He was raising his 2 daughters on his own and owned a tree trimming business which I didn't know at the time meant he owned a chainsaw and a truck, therefor he was a self proclaimed tree trimming business owner. After our hours of chatting we decided a meeting was in order. We agreed to meet in the parking lot of our local mall and decide where to go from there.

I will admit I was very naive back then, but not so naive that I didn't have my escape plan in place. I did not have a cell phone, but I did have a pager. I lived just a few minutes from the mall, so I called a friend as I was leaving and asked her to send me a page in about 15 minutes.

Thank God for friends!

When I pulled into the mall I spotted him right away. He was standing next to his beat up old looking like it would break down or fall apart any second tree truck. I could tell from a distance that he was much older than the 39 years he claimed to be. I pulled up next to him and prayed my friend would page me soon introduced myself. He flashed me a giant smile as he introduced himself to me.

A giant TOOTHLESS smile. I know I discussed with him during our 4 hour conversation that I didn't date guys with out teeth.

I also noticed 3 or 4 small white things on his face. It took me a second to realize what it was. He must have nicked himself shaving and used pieces of toilet paper to stop the bleeding...which he forgot to remove before leaving the house.

I swear, I'm not shallow! Even though I am *ahem* perfect, I am comfortable dating a man with flaws...as long as he has all his TEETH...I don't even care if they are fake teeth, I just don't want to see holes in his mouth when he smiles.

We made a little bit of small talk, then THANK GOD! low and behold, I got an emergency page. I apologized profusely, and he said, "That's ok, I know I like what I see so we can hook up again. Yep, I like what I see!"

GAG, PUKE, VOMIT, CHOKE

"It was very nice to meet you too. I'll get a hold of you later on..."

NOT!

What would we do with out our friends?