Definitely The BEST Profile I've Ever Read!

The following profile was written by a 38 year old surgeon, who describes himself as athletic, and claims that I owed it to myself to read his profile.


I have never laughed so hard in my entire life!


Enjoy...


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Basically, I am God's gift to woman. Unfortunately I didn't realize God had a return department and now find myself in the Clearance Section labeled last year’s gifts. (In other words I’m divorced, but it was all her fault) Women say they don't want a man who has to plan everything. They'll love me, I have no plans. Like everyone else I love candlelight dinners too, but for different reasons. Frankly, I look better in the dark. Also I don’t have to cancel my dates every time they turn off my electric. It does makes it tough to heat up hamburger helper though, so I am looking for a woman with a sterno grill (I don't know why they call it hamburger helper, it's just fine all by itself). I like the finer things in life. I was the first in the park with those chrome spinners on the mobile home, but found they don't spin unless you're moving. That’s ok, I move a lot.. That d*mn bounty hunter keeps finding me. I enjoy jet skiing, snow skiing, traveling, softball, volleyball and strip solitaire poker. I've read over 100 self help books. Got my money back for everyone of them. I have the energy of a child, the valor of a knight (and that’s without my white shining armor) the heart of a woman, and logic of a man. Phone conversation is a good start..., it's ok.., and it’s only a mild form of human contact. You really can't die from it. And don't worry about me stalking you, I'll leave that to your next-door neighbor, he's very strange. I should know what I want in a woman since I used to be one. 
My plants but they are not doing well, maybe cause they shut the water off on me last week. Don't get me wrong I am responsible. I'm still able to bathe,- the neighbors have a nice pool and they leave every day at 9am which means I could meet you for coffee by 10 depending on how the buses are running. Oh, if we do go out at night, my moped has a flat right now. I have another cycle, but only at certain times.